Most tension between families and nannies doesn’t come from one big problem — it builds from small things left unsaid. Regular, straightforward feedback is one of the simplest ways to keep a placement working well long-term.

Little and often beats saving it up

A short weekly check-in — five minutes, even by text — normalises feedback as routine rather than a sign something’s wrong. It’s much easier to raise a small preference in week two than a list of frustrations in month six.

Be specific, and be kind

«Could we do reading before screen time, rather than after?» is useful and easy to act on. «You’re not doing enough with him» is neither. Specific, behaviour-focused feedback gets better results than general impressions.

Make it two-way

Ask your nanny what’s working and what isn’t from their side too — access to supplies, unclear instructions, timing that doesn’t quite work. A nanny who feels able to raise things early will do exactly that, instead of quietly working around problems.

Feedback works best as a habit, not an event reserved for when something’s gone wrong.

When to put it in writing

For anything involving a change to hours, duties, or pay, follow up a conversation with a short written note or message — not as a formality, but so both sides remember the same agreement later.